The Latest Evidence That The End of The World As We Know It Is Near

As I was thinking today about the important things I will be teaching me new son it occurred to me that I am faced with a major paradigm shift that will be difficult to explain to my son. The Saints are going to win the NFC Championship game ( there I said it and I believe it! You gotta BELIEVE...right?!) So, among the things I will probably have a hard time convincing my son were actually true at one time are the following:

The Saints actually used to lose...allot.

(I know son, they won the Superbowl the year you were born and have won it almost every other year of your life since but Saints fans were wearing bags way before they were bagging games!)

I used to be cool.

(just ask your mom...on second thought... scratch that.)

I used to have hair.

(Even the most docile Saints fans are doomed to premature hair loss but watching the Saints go to the Superbowl, paying taxes, new-parent-sleep-deprivation and graduating all in the same 4 month period did me in son.)

I worked at McDonalds once.

(This will put me far ahead of other Dads for the first few years until my son realizes life is more then happy meal toys and Ronald McDonalds effigy is burned around the world as protest a against the evil capitalist regimes attempts at worldwide globalization.)

I used to have a triple digit golf score.

( I hope I have to explain this to him...I haven't seen so many grown men obsessed with the 70's, 80's and 90's since I was a kid growing up in the 70's,80's and 90's! : )

There used to be an organ in church.

( and it wasn't a kidney, liver or heart)

I used to have a six-pack

( the kind you wear before it morphs into a 'mono-ab')

Of all of the above, the fact the Saints used to be losers might be the hardest to explain to my son. However,for those of us who have been around for the last few decades- the fact that they are playing this deep into January has to make you think that Satan has started watching the Weather Channel and the demons are buying parkas- my forecast for the next 2 weeks? ICE...allot of ice.

Ceteris Paribus-Leaving Everything The Same

As I consider what to post in the aftermath of the life and death struggle that is commonly referred to as "the Holidays"I cannot allow January of 2007 to expire without reflecting on 2006.

Ahhh...2006! There are so many years that go by that I find myself saying, "I will truly never forget this year!" Whether it is

the Challenger falling from the sky,

the Titanic rising from the sea,

the first time I kissed a girl( which my wife claims never happened),

the first time I kissed a woman( That would be to my Kimmer...see baby...its just sematics) ,

September 15th,2001,

August 9th 2003( The day I made the best decision of my life next to a relationship with my Jesus- this is the day I married my Kim)

Yes, I have been blessed in the midst of a broken world but you know what? I said "Never forget!" an awful lot over the years but for the life of me I cannot remember what I was referring to the other times. That said I won't have a problem with remembering 2006. Why you ask? Simply this...2006 will always be the year that Kim and I experienced one of the most incredible miracles known to man. 2006 is the year that I found out that because of a collaborative effort involving God, Kim and I...we were having a child.

A son.

Wow.

(if you repeat that last word about 30 times and throw in a few "Are you sures?" and a smattering of "Oh my goshes!" you have pretty much recreated Bryan Rhineharts first monologue as a Daddy.)

We are spastic parents thus far. A typical conversation in the Rhinehart household goes something like this:


Bryan(gushing): Oh Baby..I love you so much!

Kim( lovingly): I love you too Baby..You're going to be a Daddy!

Bryan( freaking): Oh my gosh! I'm a Dad! Wait! That makes you a Mommy!Oh my gosh! Your going to have a baby Kim! Can you believe it!?

Kim(pouting): Oh noooo! I am going to have to give birth! It's not fair!You don't have to do anything!

This is then followed by allot of laughter, at least one failed attempt to lay next two each other on a couch that didn't cooperate when there were only two of us much less three, and then the comical sight of two newbie parents trying their best to sing nursery rhymes to the "Bump" on Kim's tummy. I have butchered a few nursery rhymes already...my apologies to Mother Moose.

Thanks for the memories 2006....I wouldn't change a thing!